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When was the last time you disagreed with a co-worker? Did the disagreement turn into an
argument? If you have problems dealing with other employees, a few tips will help you manage
the interpersonal relationship problems you’re struggling with.
First, you need to recognize where the problem is. Ask yourself, “Is my behavior
irritating others? Am I the only one who has problems with a certain co-worker?” If the
answer to either of those is “yes,” you should be taking a look at yourself as a source
of the conflicts you face at work. Often, we tend to hold others to a higher standard of
behavior than we ascribe to ourselves, and taking one day to track what things made you
angry and what your reactions were to those things will help you decide if that is the
case for you. If you discover that indeed, you are behaving irrationally, make a concerted
effort to allow your fellow employees some leeway. After all, they too get in bad moods
and may say things they didn’t really mean. Try to be more thick-skinned—don’t let snide
comments and little looks disturb you like they may have in the past. You will find that
in time, you can develop at least tolerant relationship with your co-workers, if not friendships.
If the problem is clearly with another person or other persons, your best course of action
is probably to take it up with them directly and privately. Retaliating with your own actions and
words will only lead to escalating tensions and people either getting disciplined, or, in some
cases, fired. Try to let them know as gently as you can that their behavior has become quite
an annoyance to you (and to your co-workers, if they feel the same as you). Be careful to not
sound like a parent, but emphasize that continued misbehavior may result in your lodging a
complaint about him or her with a superior. Be sure, however, that the things that upset you
are actually personal conflicts, and not just methods of working (or slacking off) that
should be dealt with by the co-worker’s boss. You don’t want to appear to be a snitch by
ratting out how your co-worker takes breaks every 15 minutes—instead, let your boss see
the behavior for him or herself and decide the best course of action.
In the end, resolving personal conflicts should be a top priority. In a recent survey
published in HR Executive Magazine, supervisors said that nearly 20% of their time—almost
a full day out of every week—was spent dealing with office politics. If you’ve had a
long-running feud with a fellow employee, it’s time to bury the hatchet and get on with
the real reason you come to work—to benefit the company.
About the Author
Mike Ward is the Senior Online Editor for SnagAJob.com, one of the nation’s largest job search websites, with more than 117 million
annual searches. Headquartered in Richmond, Va., SnagAJob.com was started in 1999 to connect teens and college students with
great summer jobs. For more information, or to begin your job search visit
SnagAJob.com to view jobs in your area.
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